Rewriting the rules of formal engagement

Elon Musk bringing his young children to a meeting with Prime Minister (PM) Narendra Modi in the United States (US) has caused more than a flutter. Reactions have ranged from amusement to indignation, sparking discussions on diplomatic propriety, modern parenting, and the shifting norms of professional spaces.

Some critics viewed Musk’s move as a blatant disregard for decorum, trivialising an important occasion. Others called for India to lodge a formal protest, arguing that it insulted the honour of the PM. However, Musk’s approach is not entirely new. In the past, he carried his son, X Æ A-XII, on his shoulders at the Oval Office when meeting then-US President Donald Trump. That moment, too, broke conventional expectations, sparking conversations about how workplaces — corporate and political — are evolving to accommodate family life.

This came to the fore again when Ukraine President Volodymyr Zelensky’s outfit — a military styled black sweatshirt — to the meeting with Trump at the White House became a hot topic. Zelensky, who has eschewed suits and has worn clothing showing solidarity with his soldiers fighting the Russian army, was even asked by a journalist at the press conference whether he owned a suit.

In February, US vice president JD Vance arrived in Paris for the Global AI Action Summit with his wife Usha and their children. While the family reportedly stayed away from plenary sessions, PM Modi interacted with them, even presenting Vance’s son, Vivek, with a birthday gift. These instances raise an interesting question: Are family-friendly optics becoming a new norm in global diplomacy, or are they a form of political grandstanding?

Some believe this trend aligns with the US Republican right’s pro-family, pro-natalist stance. Others argue that it signals a broader shift in high-level engagements, akin to how Kerry Packer revolutionised cricket in the seventies, by introducing colour and casualness, much to the dismay of traditionalists, who felt it’s just not cricket!

A few decades ago, business attire was defined by pinstriped suits and rigid formality. That changed when the late Steve Jobs turned up at major events in black polos and jeans, challenging prevalent corporate dress codes. Today, founders like Mark Zuckerberg, Sam Altman, Nikhil Kamath, and Deepinder Goyal dress casually, to the point where formals at a start-up event seem as out of place as a nun’s habit in a nudist camp.

Zoho’s CEO Sridhar Vembu has taken this even further by wearing a traditional veshti to the workplace, adding a cultural dimension to the changing norms. The shift towards informality isn’t just about clothing; it reflects broader workplace changes that prioritise comfort, authenticity, and flexibility.

Former New Zealand PM Jacinda Ardern made headlines in 2018 when she attended the UN General Assembly with her infant son. This was seen as emblematic of a growing movement toward more inclusive work cultures that integrate family life. Advocates argue that bringing children into professional settings fosters healthier work-life dynamics, allows real-world learning experiences, and highlights the importance of parental presence. These moves also challenge outdated norms and encourage a rethinking of what balance looks like in the lives of public figures and professionals.

Critics, however, worry that such actions blur the lines between personal and professional life. Does Musk bringing his child to a high-stakes diplomatic meeting humanise him or trivialise the occasion? While some view it as a moment of authenticity and vulnerability from one of the world’s most high-profile entrepreneurs, others see it as self-serving — a calculated move to make him appear more relatable and humanise his public image.

Kurt Braddock, a public communication professor at American University, told the BBC, “The inclusion of kids in public appearances is very much a political move to make him seem more personable and human.” A convenient correction as he goes about disrupting the spheres of personal mobility, space travel, satellite communication, social media and now the functioning of government.

For decades, diplomacy has adhered to an unwritten rule of ultra-formal engagement — suits, national dress, and tightly controlled protocols. Yet, ironically, these discussions often involve predominantly older men making decisions about the future; a future they have a shrinking stake in.

Perhaps, it wouldn’t be a bad idea for children to be present in these grand meeting halls, serving as a tangible reminder of the generations that will bear the consequences of today’s deliberations. Who knows — maybe one day, global leaders will reciprocate Musk’s move, bringing along their little ones to play with X’s miniature spaceships and electric vehicle dinkies while shaping the future of the world.

Lloyd Mathias is a business strategist and an independent director. The views expressed are personal