Mother’s Day | Pahalgam victim Lt Vinay Narwal’s mum Asha Narwal remembers son

Her son Lt Vinay Narwal, an officer in the Indian Navy, was shot dead by terrorists at Baisaran Valley in Pahalgam, Kashmir on April 22, just days after his wedding. Asha Narwal, still grappling with the weight of this loss says, “Vinay ki saari yaadein dil ke kareeb hain. Har cheez mein woh mujhe yaad aata hai.”

“Bachpan mein Vinay bohot shararti tha,” she recalls, adding, “One thing that keeps coming back to me is that whenever he would see soldiers, he would get very excited, run up to them and salute them. I often asked him why he did that. He used to say, ‘Mujhe bohot achcha lagta hai’.”

Vinay wanted to be in the armed forces from a young age, his mother says: “Jab woh bada hua, toh kabhi kabhi kehta tha ki ‘mummy, main bhi kisi din tirange mein lipat kar aaunga’. I used to get very angry. But then he would say that when that day comes, you will remember I used to say this. He was always passionate about serving the nation.”

‘A moment of great pride’

When Vinay finished his engineering degree (B.Tech in Computer Science), his mother and others in the family expected him to take up a job in a private company. But Vinay was adamant. “Nahi mummy, mujhe Navy mein hi jaana hai aur main isiki tayyari karunga,” he used to say, his mother recalls. “When he got through the first round of selection and was about to go for the second we tried to dissuade him because he was not keeping well. He had jaundice. But Vinay said, ‘Main koshish karunga. I have complete faith in myself.’ And he did manage to get selected. It was a moment of great pride for us. We were really happy. I thought, ‘Mere bete ne jo socha tha, woh kar ke dikhaya’,” adds Asha Narwal.

Affectionate child, an all-rounder

Vinay was very affectionate, says his mother. “Mere saath lipat kar sota tha bachpan mein. Ek side Shrishti (her daughter, Vinay’s younger sister) aur ek side Vinay. Main beech mein. Dono hi bohot shararti thhe. Woh kehta tha, ‘Main pair rakhunga mummy pe, pehle meri mummy bani thi, baad mein teri.’ Phir kehta tha, ‘Aadhi mummy meri hai, aadhi teri’.”

She adds that Vinay was very fond of travelling and loved trekking, swimming, and badminton. As a child, he loved boxing and kabaddi. He was an all-rounder. She says he loved to eat dal-chawal and the pulao that she made. “He would often say that he got all kinds of food while on duty, but he missed the pulao I made.”

Vinay was also very close to his grandparents, says Asha. “He loved the choorma his grandmother made.” Vinay would help Asha out in the kitchen and would often cook — sometimes pulao, sometimes biriyani, or pasta. “Once he made pizza. I teased him saying, ‘your wife will be lucky that you know how to cook’.”

‘When I was pregnant with him’

When Vinay was away on duty, he would often complain to his mother that she did not visit him, says Asha. “He used to say, ‘You are the only one who hasn’t come to visit me. Everyone in the family has visited me at least once.’ And I would reply, ‘When you and Himanshi (Vinay’s widow) get married, I will come visit and stay for a long time.’ Mujhe pata nahi tha ki kuch aisa ho jayega mere bete ke saath.”

Asha says she would often call Vinay ‘Tina’, as a nickname. “Jabki yeh ladki ka naam hai. Magar jab main pregnant thi, tab main usse Tina kehkar khoob saari baatein kiya karti thi. Ghar par sab use ‘Vinu’ bulate the. Use bilkul pasand nahi tha koi use ‘Tina’ bulaye. Sirf main hi bula sakti thi.”

The last conversation

The last time Asha spoke to her son was at around 8:30–9 in the evening on April 21. “My husband and I were returning to Karnal (from Panipat). I called them. Vinay told me that he and Himanshi were headed to their hotel after dinner. I told him, ‘Hotel hi jaana, idhar udhar matt jaana’.”

Vinay and Himanshi were supposed to come back home from Kashmir on April 26. A number of relatives had invited the newlyweds for lunches and dinners. Vinay’s birthday was on May 1 and he was scheduled to join work on May 5.

“Maine usse kaha tha ki tere birthday ke din Himanshi ki pehli rasoi karwa dungi, kheer ya halwa kuch banwa lungi. We had even booked a cook for Vinay’s birthday and had planned to invite relatives for lunch. Vinay said, ‘Jaisa aapne soch rakkha hai, waise hi kar lenge.’ Wahi meri aakhri baat huyi Vinay se.” She continues, “The next day, I thought of calling him but decided against it, thinking I would call him later. I got busy. And now, I will never be able to speak to him again.”

“On April 9, the wedding festivities began. On April 20, the tents were removed. Humare ghar itni khushiyaan thi ki sameti hi nahi jaa rahi thi. Everyone was so happy. Aur phir ekdum saari duniya hi palat gayi,” says Asha.